Web3 Shorthand: A Glossary for Crypto Newbies

Did you, for a second, think, you’re with the times? 

I did. 

Till about two minutes and some spent after mass following Twitter accounts that talk about web3, crypto, NFTs, DAOs etcetera. 

Like Ned Flanders at Moe’s Tavern after Sunday service. 

Like a boy scout on his first visit to Hooters. 

It all sounded exciting, but I had no idea what any of it meant.  

I felt like a complete newbie. Or as they say, n00b. Yep, that’s N double zero B, pronounced as “noob”, which in turn is shorthand for “newbie”. 

n00b is still relatively old-time internet message board slang and might make sense to pale-skinned video game & web addicts. But do they have some arcane and culture-specific shorthand in there! And given twitter’s character limit, some stuff comes straight up hieroglyphic. 

Anyhow. I did some digging and figured out some stuff that’d help me start navigating this space. And overflowing with the milk of human kindness, I am going to share them with you. As they say, noblesse oblige. 

Web3 Shorthand – A Beginners Glossary 

THINGS:  

• BTC / ETH / SOL / DOGE – These are all cryptocurrency code. Basically, short forms for the name of the coins – Bitcoin,  Ethereum, Solana, and Dogecoin. There are thousands of these in existence, but the most important ones are listed on major exchanges. So in case of doubt, search it out. 
• VDA – Virtual Digital Asset. Every virtual and digital investment under the sun. A primary cause of peptic ulcers in central bankers and finance officials. 
• PFP – Profile picture. Maybe because no one would want to say “look at my PFP” minus the f? 
• Discord – Facebook is for boomers. Whatsapp is for plebs. Higher forms that trade in VDAs use Discord. It’ll confuse you initially. Good. 
• IRL – In real life. They are aware of the parallel universe where we exist and (gasp!) pay for things with cash. Not that they like visiting. 
• Szn – Season. As in, the market cycle of any VDA. Generally looks like a cardiogram after you’ve had three monster energy cans and stand up a little too quickly after six straight hours in your gaming chair. 
• JPGs – An all-encompassing term for NFTs of any format. Comes from the un-initiated exclaiming “but why would you buy a JayPeg? Just right-click save!” when explaining that someone spent millions on buying a JPEG (yeah, it’s like that, but different). 

PEOPLE:  

• n00b – Newbie. Anyone who is new to the game and doesn’t yet suffer from pulmonary hypertension, given the ride that owning crypto / NFTs / other digital assets takes you on. 
• Pleb – Plebeian (one of the common people) = n00b 
• Degen – Degenerate. Someone who takes insane amounts of risk while trading. The kind of dudes who’ll ride their superbikes wearing flip-flops. Nah. Who are we kidding? That’ll require going outside. 
• Fren – Friend. Started wif doggos on de gram’ now we here.  
• OG – Original Gangster. Oldtimer who had seen success in this space. Not to be confused with  OJ, which could be of the Simpson or the drinkable variety and is not used in these parts. 

EVENTS / HAPPENINGS / BEHAVIOUR:  

• Ded – Dead. As in the dude who bought Jack’s first tweet NFT.
• DYOR – Do your own research (usually comes at the end of what seems like investing advice) =  “All investments are subject to market risks, read all related documents carefully”. i.e. If it goes south, don’t @ me. 
• FOMO – Fear of missing out. When some highly touted “asset” is rising very quickly and you want to get in during the early stages cuz well, why are you even doing this otherwise?
• Rug – Rug pull. When malicious actors use the FOMO sentiment to get you to invest your ETH /  BTC / SOL etc. into their artificially pumped projects and then vanish with all the goods once they think they’ve lured in as much as they could. This is why DYOR. 
• Cope – When you resisted the FOMO because you feared the project was a Rug, but it was legit  (legitimate) and is now priced in the stratosphere, you cope. 
• Salt – Salty. Salty because you’ve been crying while coping internally but calling the grapes sour externally. 
• Minting – When you’ve got, what you (and others) think is a collection-worthy digital asset and you issue it on the blockchain. 
• Shilling – Touting. Touting your product/holdings hard enough for it to be obnoxious. 
• OK Boomer – General insult to be used on anyone who doesn’t agree with your positions.  Especially when you’ve FOMO-ed into degen territory. 
• Rekt – Wrecked. As in the dude who bought Jack Dorsey’s first tweet NFT.
• IYKYK – If you know, you know. i.e. “Only those in on this joke/reference will get this, the others are (usually) lesser beings. Sort of a wink and elbow nudge you give your friend when you make an insider joke. 

There. NYK (now you know). I’ve covered a fair number of the essentials that you’ll require to negotiate your way through a minefield of acronyms and get a peek into the walled garden of the  web3 community.